Rules That Serve You

Creating rules that serve you

Throughout 2024, I tried some personal wellness challenges. These challenges were ones that I designed for myself, which included daily tasks, such as exercising X minutes, reading X pages, and rules that I must write each morning and spend time outside each day. I created the challenges knowing they would be difficult to accomplish, and I certainly was not perfect in my daily streaks or in sticking with the rules. The goal was not to be perfect but to see what might happen when I held myself accountable and stayed consistent. However, when life got busy or unexpected circumstances got in the way of my daily goals, I wondered whether or not my life would be better off without the rules and the pressure that came with them.

Enough structure and expectation and I accomplished goals; too much rigidness and stress could easily overburden any progress.

While reading Oliver Burkeman's Meditations for Mortals, I came across the story of a monk named Saint Benedict of Nursia, known to be a strict teacher with his younger monks in the Christian monastery. So strict that on two separate occasions, he was poisoned by his pupils. After self-reflection, he realized that his rigid living was taking away from the pleasures of daily life, doing more harm than good to his monks and, by extension, himself. He was later quoted, "We read that monks should not drink wine at all, but since the monks of our day cannot be convinced of this, let us at least agree to drink moderately, and not to the point of excess..."

From these wellness challenges, I learned that I should not spend my life serving the rules I have made but instead allow for the rules I created to serve me. Life ebbs and flows; there will be times when I can stick to an ideal routine and when I cannot. By being honest with myself, knowing when I have more to give and when I may need to be more gentle and forgiving of myself, I can use the knowledge and experience that has come from both following and breaking my own rules. Each challenge has taught me something new: ways to fit in a workout, the importance of spending time outdoors for my mental health, and what happens when I stay consistent in my writing.

So, when creating new goals for yourself this year, have an honest conversation with yourself about what you wish to accomplish and how you can do it so that it builds you up, not tears you down or wears you out. Create your own challenges, and as life's surprises arise, ask yourself what you can do to keep working towards your goal and if the moment requires more structure or freedom, more accountability or flexibility.

Wishing you the best in 2024!